So the other day
{While pending on whether to deactivate my Facebook or not}
I decided I would go through and look at all my old pictures and videos
It was kind of weird to be honest
I feel like from my junior to senior year of high school and freshman year of college till now
I honestly feel like I have lived four different life times
The person I was then
... Though I wish was the same ...
Is completely different
It's funny how people change
We develop and grow from adolescents into adults
Some much faster than others
Seeing where life takes everyone in totally different directions
Life has so many different paths
And everyone is picking different ones
The people you used to know better than yourself become strangers
And the new strangers become all you know
and are used to
Then the there are the ones who stick by you no matter what
They support you in all your crazy stupid adventures
... Even if they don't agree ...
They always know what to say or do
even if they are 1,000's of miles away
You learn who your true friends
You learn to stay guarded and not to trust as easily
From high school till now
I feel like I have said more goodbyes than anyone ever should in there entire lifetime
Your priorities change as you grow older too
In high school the focus was where's the next party Saturday night or we need to start making up our next homecoming routine
{Mondays were actually my favorite days because captains meetings, choir, tumbling, and planning out all the events for the week}
There was always something to look forward to
Then things like bills and money start to become your main focus
You live in a 10 mile town but only can drive to Walmart when you work because you only have enough money to fill up once a month
You work two jobs and have to be a part time student
>have to at least if you want some what decent grades<
[but hey at least you're still in school]
Even now I feel like people come in and out of my life much faster than I ever wish they would
You would think living in a small little town everyone would know everyone
... But whenever you want to run into someone you never will ...
Whether you are in a city of 10,000,000 or 4,000 it can still feel lonely
It's funny how things like that work
I guess it all comes down to waiting
... Waiting to find those friends and people who will stick with you
... Waiting for those people you can trust
... Waiting for some to walk out of your life
... Then waiting for new people to hopefully walk back in and take their place
... Waiting for the next pay checks
... Waiting for grades, tests, projects, Graduation
... Waiting for your prince
... Waiting for the job call back
... Waiting for the text/call that brings butterflies through your body
... Waiting for love
... Waiting for that one day
... Waiting for unanswered prayers
>Patience<
An attribute that I struggle with more than anything.
I hate change
but it seems to follow me every where I go.
and it never stops.
it's not even little things either
My life just seems to take 360 degree turns at least every 6 months
... Waiting to settle.
... Waiting for some sort of consistency.
I hope that one day my thoughts and dreams will come
{and I hope I can see them before they pass}
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient.
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Love Always,
Lexi
