Why yes my darlings, this picture above is of my math notes.
I am currently in summer school for college algebra. It is a 5 week course with an exam every Monday that covers 3 chapters. No fear though my friends, I have received a D on my first one and the notes pictured above I will get tested on tomorrow.
Math is just one of those things where no matter how hard I study, how many hours I spend doing homework or being in the tutoring center, the countless frustrated tears I shed I just don't get it. In all honesty I am truly fearful that I may not pass this class. The pressure of this is unbearable, because I cost me 1,200 dollars for my to take this one class. If I don't pass this the first time around then that was a waste of 1,200 dollars that I didn't even have in the first place. That is a LOT of money.
Everyday I wake up early to go to class. I honestly feel like I am back in elementary school; trying desperately to make sense of all the information being fed to me but no matter how I piece it together it just doesn't connect in any way. I can't tell you how frustrating this is for me.
After spending the weekend with Ryan and having him point out that I need to stop seeing the negative in everything. I need to be mature about things and face them head on for what the are. I don't intentionally do this, but do find myself doing it more often than not.
I'm so thankful for Ryan and my Mother. Their words and love help me get through life when I feel like sometimes I just can't bare it any more.
"Take a deep breath and look at all the things you have accomplished," they tell me. Writing out an, "I'm grateful list" and looking at all the beautiful things in life that get over look so easily.
The warmth and pure hearted look in the eyes of a young child.
The smile from one stranger to another.
The story behind that elderly woman at the grocery store, or who drives so cautiously in front of you.
The glow of a new mother or newly engaged couple.
The beauty of the amazing creation around us.
The idea that you've been granted a life for a purpose, though we may not know it yet.
Knowing that God's love for you is over powering, all knowing, and never ending.
Take a deep breath my darling,
Know that you are loved and your world is filled with beauty.
<3 Love Always
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